The world we live in today places SO much value on beauty and external appearances. Working in the fitness industry, I know this is somewhat to be expected. Whether people are wanting to lose weight, tone up or simply get fitter and feel better, it all typically revolves around their appearance. What I want to talk about today is the fact that your appearance is NOT the sole definition of beauty or confidence for that matter. I hear so many girls say “I’m not confident because…” and list off x, y z reasons that usually have something to do with their appearance, how they think others perceive them or their general insecurities.
I truly believe that having confidence goes hand in hand with your “inner beauty" - you can’t have one without the other. This “inner beauty” is exactly what my BBG Community is based on. Rather than focusing solely on outside appearances (which can be deceiving), I think it is so much more important to focus on how you FEEL. Yes, I KNOW I work in the health and fitness industry, and I know this is often based on physical transformations. However, if you aren’t truly happy with the person you are on the inside, you won’t reflect that on the outside. The best before and afters are the ones that have a bigger smile in the after photo.
I want to redefine the idea of "beauty" and "confidence". The foundation of these two principles start from within, and until you master that, you can’t truly achieve them.
So what are my steps to becoming more confident?
Don’t Overthink It
If you are constantly focusing on your insecurities, you can end up overthinking all of the negatives and this can show in all aspects of your life. The funniest thing happens when you learn to embrace your lack of self confidence and insecurities - they tend to matter less! This is because if you acknowledge that they exist, that makes them okay and helps you realise that you are only human.
By doing this, you can help to develop confidence because you accept what it is, rather than trying to fight it. Confidence doesn’t mean you are always confident and don’t have doubts. It simply means you have learnt to accept them and that is okay.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
“If only I had her legs, then I would be happy”. The amount of times I hear something like this on a daily basis is quite sad. Everybody is unique and that is something that should be embraced! By accepting who you are, you can truly embrace your inner beauty and allow your confidence to shine. Your body is yours, so own it.
I know we can all have our down days and get stuck in cycles of negative thinking, and that is perfectly okay. As long as you realise that at the end of the day, the only person you have to impress is yourself. Besides that, comparing yourself to others can be a totally pointless waste of time. No matter how much you wish you had her legs, that won’t make them magically appear on your body. So what’s the point of obsessing over it? Embrace what you were born with, and if there are certain aspects of your body or your personality that you don’t like, try and find positive ways to improve them! Work on you, for you.
Stop Focussing on “Imperfections”
Everybody is flawed, everybody...and who is to say that is a bad thing? In today’s world, the use of social media and technology has made it super easy to be judgemental and critical of one another. So what you have a few freckles or small lips or short legs? These are all things that a) can’t be helped and b) don’t define you as a person.
Confidence comes from within. It comes from recognising that you have "imperfections", but this doesn't mean you're not beautiful. It is realising that these don’t matter that makes you a beautiful person. Someone that is happy with themselves also tends to be happy towards others. They empower others and let them know it is okay to be themselves. The minute you start to become happier in your own body and with your own personality is the minute you can inspire others to do the same.
Remember, girls - at the end of the day how you feel depends on nobody else but YOU! You take control of your emotions, you take control of your life and only you change your mindset. Once you learn to do these things, then just wait and see how much your life can change. To be truly confident, you need to embrace who you are and learn to love yourself. When you do this, your inner beauty will radiate from within for all to see.
Love, Kayla xx