Why I’m Getting Real About Pregnancy In My IGTV Series
I’m so ready to share more of my story in the second part of my new IGTV series, Begin Again.
There were times during pregnancy and after giving birth when I was struggling, but I didn’t want to let things affect me, so I tried not to show it — but I’ve come to realise that they actually DID have an impact on me.
It’s time for me to talk about what REALLY happened — that’s what part two of Begin Again is all about.
Even though those experiences were tough, I’m actually really glad I have the opportunity to finally share with you, the women in the BBG Community, who have offered me so much support over the years. I also want to support all women, no matter where you are in life or on your fitness journey, because we all begin somewhere.
Pregnancy wasn't what I thought it was going to be
As many of you who follow me on social media know, I was SO happy that I was pregnant.
It was the best day ever when I found out I was having a baby.
Even though Tobi and I were both really happy, pregnancy wasn't what I thought it was going to be.
I thought because I was so fit and strong and ate so well that when I got pregnant, it was just going to be a breeze.
It was not a breeze.
It was morning sickness, and then, when I finally started feeling a bit better, I was on the plane. I was like, "I feel like my chest is burning a little bit." And I called my mum and she's like, "I think you’ve got reflux."
I had pregnancy fatigue, extreme morning sickness, extreme reflux, restless leg.
It’s safe to say I found pregnancy tough.
And then, right at the end of my third trimester when I was starting to feel great, I got sciatic nerve pain running down both my legs — I eventually just couldn't walk.
I was used to being an athlete, but to have been at such a high level and then to drop so far down to being a beginner — not being able to actually physically put one foot in front of the other — was extremely difficult for me. It was hard, and that’s something I haven’t shared — until now.
What I was REALLY thinking when things got heated
During my pregnancy, I never faked being healthy and happy and strong. There were times where I said, "I'm struggling, and I'm tired."
But it was hard because I also wanted to show women that an active pregnancy is okay.
That concept seemed new to social media.
For me, it also generated a lot of comments on my profiles, and there was one time that the commentary got a bit heated.
A few uneducated comments started coming through — things like: "Well, your baby's going to fall out of you and die if you keep doing squats." Or, "If you keep working out like this, you're going to give your daughter a complex."
When you're a mum, that grinds your gears a little bit.
But it was just those two comments out of 500 that would really annoy me, but I had to realise there were over 500 positive comments, and those two people I just needed to ignore.
I never expected to feel anxious after birth
I’ve learned from other women — my clients and women in the BBG Community — that it’s not unusual to be worried about the wellbeing of your baby, especially your first. For me, I couldn’t wait for Arna to be safe and in my arms.
When she was born, all I could just think was, "Thank God — just give her to me."
I was just so happy she was safe.
It wasn't until I actually got home from the hospital that things got real.
Arna was perfect — it was me and my hormones that I really struggled with. My lactation hormones were kicking in, and I felt like I had the flu.
My heart was racing, I was getting sweaty, hot and cold. People were passing Arna around, and she was calm and asleep. But I was panicking and I remember my mum looking at me and she saying: "Go in your room."
So I went into my room and Tobi came in and gave me a big hug. I burst into tears and I was like: "Please get everyone out. I just don't want anyone here. I'm freaking out."
I had never experienced anxiety before, but it was constant, and I'm so thankful that Arna was so calm – she wasn't a problem. It was me.
However, I was lucky in that my anxiety resolved relatively quickly. I know that's not the case for every woman, and I've learned SO much from the experience.
I’m so thankful the bond between Tobi, Arna and I was really strong, it was just the recovery from my C-section I found quite difficult.
Not being able to sit out of bed was something I honestly don't think I can ever describe. I was lifting my head up and then my body just did not follow. Then I put my head back down, thinking: “All right, how do I get up?" That was a HUGE moment of realisation for me.
I’ve learned SO much through my struggles
I never thought I would be in a position where I'd have to start again. I’ve been a trainer for 10 years but there have been times in the last seven months when I’ve honestly felt so lost.
The sense of fear and anxiety I’ve felt in the past has actually led me to work harder to create programs for women who are beginners, as well as anyone who is starting to work out post-pregnancy.
I’ll talk more about these experiences in part three of Begin Again — so stay tuned!
Thank you to everyone in the #BBGcommunity who has sent me messages about my IGTV series — I’m really pleased you’ve enjoyed it so far, and it means SO much to me to have your support.
Have you seen both episodes of Begin Again? Comment below!
* Results may vary. Strict adherence to the nutrition and exercise guide are required for best results.